Whether cougar woman or cub you’ll need a sense of humor if you plan on cougar dating. So the next time somebody tells their cougar jokes just beat them to the punch line with one of these!
Cougar Jokes and Humor
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A young hunk ends up with a beautiful older woman at a wild club.
As the evening progresses with drinking and sexy dancing.…she asks the cub if he’s ever had a “sportsman’s double?”
He says what’s that? She explains that it’s a mother and daughter threesome.
The guy thinks, if the mother is this hot then the daughter must be even better, so he agrees! He thinks this is his lucky night!
He goes home with her, and as they get in the house…..the fabulous cougar woman shouts upstairs “Mom you still awake?”
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A man meets a gorgeous female cougar in a bar.
They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears.
Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her.
She turns to him…they kiss…then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night. After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the cub rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?”
The cougar says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”
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Q: Why did the Cougar kitten stare at frozen orange juice can for two hours?
A: Because it said, “Concentrate.”
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What do they call a cougar who works just as hard as a man?
Answer: “Lazy.”
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To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a cougar, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
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For all those men who say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free”. Here’s an update for you.
Nowadays 80% of older women are against marriage, why?
Because cougar women realize it’s not worth buying an entire Pig – Just to get a little sausage…
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When women like younger men they’re cougars.
When men like younger women they’re pedophiles.
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Offended by these cougar jokes?
Please grow a thicker pelt!
If you can do one better than add yours to the comments below!
